Letting Free
by EclipsedofSoul
Summary: Bella just needs to feel... and who better to help her than her best friend? BxE Lemon oneshot. Prequel to ‘Letting Go, Letting In’.


Letting Free

Summary: Bella just needs to feel... and who better to help her than her best friend? BxE Lemon oneshot. Prequel to 'Letting Go, Letting In'.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters; that would make me Stephanie Meyer...

AN: Thanks to Phatom-writer3739, MyAngel56, kuntrygal, Anna Diamond, AngelAtTwilight, and xxxTrojan-Princessxxx for leaving great reviews. This story is dedicated to sbella, who left me possibly the best review I have ever had and made me chuckle. This is also for Sic et Non, my wonderful beta who didn't kick me out when all I did all day was type this.

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I pushed the door of the bar open and just ran, not caring where I was going. I needed to get out of there. I needed air, I needed to breath.

Everything tonight was just so stifling, I felt trapped and overheated and I just needed to get out. It felt like there no air around me, that I was suffocating by simply being. My head was all over the place and although I hadn't had a lot to drink I knew that would be affecting me too. I'd wanted to drink myself into oblivion but after just three cocktails my mood had changed and instead of offering a way out and a night of forgetting my problems all I could do was dwell on them.

"Bella!" A voice yelled behind me and I distantly heard pounding footsteps on the pavement.

I tried to run faster but I knew it was no use, even without my clumsiness he would catch me; he was a lot faster than I was. Slipping as I tried to get away I braced myself for a fall when two arms snaked around my waist and pulled me back against a hard chest, safely rescuing me from my imminent meeting with the pavement.

"Let me go!" I tried to scream, but it came out as a half sob.

"Bella..." He soothed, his arms tightening around me but I struggled against him.

"No!" I cried and wrenched myself backwards, but only weakening his grip instead of escaping from it.

"Bella, stop it," He said sternly. "You're going to hurt yourself."

"So?" I challenged, my anger rearing its ugly head and channelling straight toward him.

"Bella, I'd never let you hurt yourself," he replied softly, his grip clutching me just a bit tighter. "I'd never hurt you." He added his voice almost a whisper.

And that was all it took for the tears to fall and I collapsed against him, burrowing myself into his warm chest as I sobbed.

"How c-could she do this to me?" I mumbled. "I'm... I'm her d-daughter!"

"I know," he whispered into my ear, his hands rubbing my back comfortingly. "I know it hurts Bella."

"I don't want to feel this way..." I muttered. "I don't want to feel pained and a-alone..."

"Bella, you're not alone," He said fiercely pulling back and wrapping my face in his hands. "You'll never be alone. You have friends that care about you. You have Alice and Emmett and Jasper and Rose. You have me Bella. We're never going to leave you."

Tears poured their way down my cheeks but I couldn't take my eyes off of his; they were so passionate and sincere.

"Edward..."

"You'll never be alone whilst you've got us Bella. Believe that." He spoke fiercely and I nodded numbly before I collapsed back into his chest. "Let's get you home." He added and started pulling me away.

Fifteen minutes later we were sitting in the back of a taxi and the only thing my mind could focus on was the tingles spreading through my arm as his hand ran up and down it gently. It was the first non-negative thing I'd felt in months. And as my body began to respond ever so slightly, my mind started to whisper that it wanted more...

Edward got out with me and paid the driver. I was in too much of a state to do anything but watch; normally I would have hated that he'd paid but I couldn't get past the fact that tonight I wanted something else out of him.

Something a friend shouldn't want from another friend, even if he was their best friend...

His hand at the small of my back as he directed me up the stairs started up the tingles again and two sides of my mind started screaming an internal debate. I couldn't ask this of him.... But I wanted it so much...

I'd watched Edward with girls for years and I knew he was good; there was just something about him that screamed he'd give you the best night of your life. He was handsome too, the drop dead gorgeous kind of handsome, and during our first few months of friendship his smile could literally make me swoon. But even though I'd felt like that once, a guy like Edward didn't go for a girl like me. I'd settled for friendship and it had been one of the best decisions of my life. I knew this man possibly better than I knew myself.

And that was why I couldn't ask this of him.

We reached my apartment and I started fumbling for my keys, my hands shaking although from what I didn't know. I heard a slight chuckle from behind me and then warm hands enveloped my own, directing the keys where to go without taking them from my grasp. I had to fight off the shiver that tried to run its way through me. The door opened with a click and swung backwards revealing my cold and empty apartment to my sore eyes.

I just stood there staring at it, feeling the loneliness overtake me and suddenly my mind was made up.

"You should get some sleep Bella," He said softly, his velvet voice almost a croon. "You need to rest."

I turned towards him without stepping back and found myself centimetres away from his face. A quick look of surprise dashed across its features but it was gone within a second and a slow smile spread across his face.

"Goodnight Bella." And he leant forward to kiss my cheek. AT the last second however I moved my face and his lips caressed mine softly.

We both stood there, not frozen but not moving, our lips less than a centimetre apart although now no longer touching. I pushed up on my toes and our lips met again, this time moving against one another's, slowly and softly.

It was the most exquisitely sweet thing I'd felt in all my life and warmth flooded my body.

He didn't pull away like I thought he would and we just stood there, our lips sliding over each others gradually, almost dreamily as if, if we quickened the pace, we'd break out of this moment of perfection and be dumped back into reality. But as much as I loved this feeling, this indescribable warmth, I wanted bolts of electricity, not tingles. So I pushed myself up against him and opened my mouth.

He broke off then and staggered backwards, his eyes a mix of emotions I couldn't fully understand; desire, warmth, guilt, regret, need...

"Bella-" He began cautiously but I wasn't ready for words and so I threw myself at him, pinning his body against the wall opposite my front door and attacking his lips with my own. He pulled away after a moment but he couldn't stop his instant reaction, which was to respond.

"Bella." He stated firmly, gripping my arms like he had before and holding me motionlessly against him. "What the hell are you doing? Do you even know?"

I just looked at him, unable to shield the emotions from my eyes. I knew he'd be seeing a storm of feelings inside of them but I also knew there was one overriding all the others; need. I needed this.

"You're drunk," he said slowly. "We're both drunk... A-and we don't know what we're doing..."

I almost cringed when the thought that if we did this he would blame it on the drink, and not me, ran through me.

"Bella, you need to go inside." He stated. "Before we do something we'll regret."

He was right; we would in all probability regret this. But it didn't change the fact that I needed it, needed him. And tonight was all I could think about; I'd worry about tomorrow when it came.

So when he loosened his hold on me, expecting me to walk away, I pressed my body more firmly against his instead. He gasped at my action but before he could do anything else I wrapped my newly freed arms around his neck and pulled his head against mine, kissing him desperately. His hands automatically came to rest at my hips and his mouth responded under mine as I pressed myself more firmly against him, feeling his hard body underneath mine.

He ripped himself away from me again but before he could speak I beat him to it.

"Edward please..." I whimpered, running my hands through his hair as I spoke, the feel of its silky strands giving me confidence. "I just need to feel... Feel anything but being alone..."

"This is wrong." He whispered harshly, but his hands clutched at my hips. "God Bella, this is wrong in so many ways."

"But you'll make it right," I whispered, no idea where the words were coming from. "You always make it right... Make me feel right."

"Bella..." He gasped, looking pleadingly into my eyes and I knew in that moment that if I kissed him again he wouldn't stop me.

"Make me feel Edward." I whispered against his lips. "Only you can."

Our lips crashed together and all his resistance was gone as he responded fiercely, nearly knocking the breath out of me. His hands snaked their way over my back and down my sides, feeling every part of me as mine tugged in his hair, pulling his head this way and that in response to the kiss. I broke off when the need for air burned my lungs but his lips just slid along my jaw line to my neck where they began to suck.

I panted against him and pressed myself into him more, causing him to groan and push back. His hands grabbed the back of my thighs and lifted me up around him as he pushed himself off the wall. I clutched to him, pressing kisses to his throat as he strode into my apartment, slamming the door shut with a kick of his foot. He headed for the bedroom straight away but when I bite down on his neck he faltered and the next thing I knew there was a clatter of objects as he cleared and threw my against my dining table in the same movement.

I latched my legs around his waist as I clutched at his shoulders, his chest pressing me down into the table as he dominated my mouth, his tongue whipping mine into obedience. I moaned as his hands began trailing my body again, this time slipping under my shirt. The tingles had now become sparks and they were firing all over me wherever he touched. I threw my head back as he grazed the underside of my breast and he returned his attention to my neck as I gasped out his name.

He pulled me upwards quickly and before I could even think he'd pulled my top off and over my head, my arms going with it even though my brain couldn't process the action. We were both breathing heavily and our chests were heaving, his hands dug into my sides as he stared down at me. He gazed back up at me and his eyes were darker, their green depths almost limitless.

"God Bella..." He breathed and then his lips were on mine again and I was holding onto his shoulders as he pushed me back against the table. His chest created a glorious feeling of friction as he pressed down on me and I whimpered.

He slid his mouth off of mine and I gasped in air as he began to trail downwards.

"This is wrong..." He panted into my skin. "God so wrong... But it feels so right."

"You," I gasped back. "All you... Always make me feel... right." I groaned as his lips attached themselves to my breast, but even as sensation threatened to drown me, somewhere in the back of my mind the truth in my words registered; the only times I'd ever truly felt right in my life was when Edward had been at my side.

His teeth drove all thought from my mind as he bit down slightly and I screamed faintly, electricity shooting through me. I grasped at his hair, tugging on the strands and digging my nails into the scalp as he worked. He moaned and moved off of me heading for my other breast but I needed his mouth on mine so I yanked him upwards. Our lips pressed together, teeth clashing, but he didn't stay as long as I wanted to.

"Fair's only fair Bella." He panted into my skin and I wanted to ask how he could still form sentences when he drove all thought from my mind again, his lips sucking at my hardened nipple.

I bucked up against him and he growled when my hips brushed against his. I pulled my legs tighter together and decreased the space between us, causing him to moan into my breast. Grabbing his shoulders I pushed him upwards, my legs tightening around him as I reached a sitting position. He claimed my mouth again and we moved against each other fiercely, our hips started to mimic the movement of our mouths.

I ran my hands down his back and over his chest, and even through the material I could feel his muscles clench. Grabbing his top button I pulled at it, not caring if it came off so long as I got the shirt open. His hands moved up and down my back, pressing into it delightfully as I finally got his shirt open. Running my hands up his chest I elated in the way his muscles jumped at my touch before slipping under the material and pushing it off of him. His hands had to leave me quickly to shrug it off and in that second I had never felt the cold more in my life.

As soon as the shirt was clear I threw myself against him, pressing our chests together and we both moaned.

"Bella..." His choked voice sounded next to my ear as his lips ran over my throat. "God, you're amazing..."

"Please," I panted, pressing every part of my body against his that I could reach. "Edward..."

He groaned and grabbed at me, hoisting me against his body as he lifted me towards my bedroom, his strides causing the most pleasurable friction against our lower bodies. I clutched at him tighter, pressing my mouth into his neck, lapping up his sweaty skin with my tongue.

He placed me down in front of my bed, my legs sliding down from his waist as I steadied myself. His lips moved down my neck and then over my breasts, his hands cupping them and squeezing slightly before he moved lower, his mouth moving over my stomach. His hands dropped to my waist and undid the button of my trousers, pulling them down off my hips. He got to his knees in front of me and the sight alone sent tremors running through me. He pushed my trousers down, but this time his lips didn't follow his hands.

"I can smell you." He whispered huskily, his nose pressing forwards against my core and I whimpered helplessly. "God, you're so wet."

I stepped out of my pants dutifully as his hands motioned me to do so but the movement caused his face to rub against me and my knees almost gave out at the amazing friction. His hands shot out and steadied me but otherwise he didn't move.

"I was just going to give you what you needed," he whispered desperately and I had a feeling he was talking more to himself than me. "Just give you what you needed and go. But it's been so long... I need to taste..."

I'd barely registered his words when his left hand ripped my panties down and his mouth was on me. I screamed as I lurched forwards, gripping his shoulder and head to keep my upright. His tongue lapped at me mercilessly, probing and tasting, and I couldn't help but buck into him. He moaned and tightened his hold on me, pushing his tongue deeper into me and I whimpered trying to get more, to feel more.

Suddenly his mouth was gone and I let out a squeal of disappointment before I felt his whole body against mine; his whole naked body.

I barely had time to comprehend where his pants had gone when he pushed me backwards. My legs hit the end of my bed and I fell backwards, scooting upwards as he crawled on top of me. He paused as he was about to settle over me and fear fled through me that he was going to leave. But his weight pressed against mine and I felt a synthetic smoothness against my thigh as he moved.

He'd remembered a condom.

A wave of self-discrimination flashed through at the thought that I was using him. That this man who was so decent as to do this all for me, was such a gentleman to remember to use protection, was being used filled my throat with bile. And on top of that, he was one of my closest friends.

"Bella?" he whispered, noticing my mood change.

"Why are you so good to me?" I whispered.

"You're my friend Bella," He said, stroking my cheek gently. "I care for you."

For some reason his words, instead of comforting me, filled me with a deep ache.

"I'd do anything for you," He pressed. "Anything you ask of me. Just say the words."

"I need this..." I whimpered. "I need to feel..."

A devilish smile flashed across his face and he lowered his mouth until it was right next to my ear. "Oh, I'll make you feel alright..." He whispered huskily.

And just like that, everything feeling but desire and anticipation fled my body and I shivered under his words. How did he do that? How did he always make me feel right? No matter what the situation?

I grasped his shoulders and pulled him towards me, kissing him furiously as I felt his tip brush my entrance. I gasped and threw my head backwards as he groaned deeply.

"Please." I begged and he groaned again before thrusting forwards into me.

I bucked up against him my mouth open with a soundless scream. His lips found my neck and he started sucking as he drew himself out and then pushed forwards again. I clutched at his shoulders, digging my nails into him as I silently begged for more. His hands grabbed at me hips and started moving them in response to his own, pulling them up as he thrust down.

I couldn't contain my scream this time and he growled into me as I bucked even harder against him, his teeth nipping my skin. I was wound so tight and everything was happening so fast as he picked up his pace, his thrusts starting to ache slightly. But not in a bad way; in a way the made me want to scream for more. Edward was right, he would never hurt me.

"Harder," I gasped against him, tilting my hips so he hit deeper within me. "God please... Harder."

He pulled out and rammed back into me harshly, his thrusts doubling the strength they had before and I knew it would be my undoing. One of his hands snaked upwards and started milking my breast, adding more pressure to my already nearly-unbearable coil.

His thrust as he bit down on my neck sent my over the edge and I screamed my release, my tightening walls sending him after me. I heard him moan as he shakily rode out our orgasms and then he collapsed, pushing himself off to the side so he wouldn't crush me.

I turned to him slowly needing to say something, to explain, even though my whole body was slowly numbing from exhaustion.

"Ssh," he whispered, his hand stroking my cheek again. "Just rest Bella."

I wanted to protest but my drooping eyelids won the battle and I relaxed backwards into my bed, a sheet being pulled up around me.

As I drifted off I felt a soft kiss dropped on my forehead and a warm feeling spread through me. Sighing I snuggled deeper into my duvet, feeling the happiest I had in a long time.

Waking slowly I groggily became aware of my surroundings. No headache, so that meant I hadn't drank myself stupid last night but I did feel fuzzy and worn. Stretching, my muscles protested and I almost collapsed backwards from the dull pains. And then I remembered.

Grabbing a sheet to cover me I sat up quickly, ignoring my body's response, and ran to the living room.

"Edward?" I yelled, but after a moment of searching my apartment I could tell he wasn't there. But that was stupid; if he had stayed he would've stayed with me.

Dragging my feet back to my bed I tried to think through everything that had happened, tried to make sense of it all. I stared around my room thinking when what I was seeing caught up with my brain.

Everywhere was clean.

The table we had crashed upon, littering its contents on the floor, was exactly as it had been before I'd left my apartment the night before. Everything we had stumbled into had been righted and my clothes were even folded nightly on the chair by my dressing table. It was as if nothing happened last night.

Edward had gone and he had removed every trace of his ever being here.

Part of me was overcome with gratefulness; that he'd taken the time to make sure I didn't have to deal with this. But another part was crushing with sorrow; did he not want to deal with what happened?

And that made me stop altogether.

Did I?

Staring around me at my clean and deserted apartment I felt tears prick at my eyes. Pulling up my duvet around me I burrowed deep within it, into my own little world, and tried to think. But the tears couldn't be held back and my emotions crashed over me. And the crippling one that got to me was disappointment.

I was disappointed Edward had left, and that confused me even more.

--

So that's the first part and I was thinking of doing a second one, a sort of bridge between this and LGLI, if anybody's interested? Any reviews or feedback would be great.


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